he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just made my gag reflex go away.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
