Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize