Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
