You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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