no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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