If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
