Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have fence marks all over my body
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
