How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
