is wine microwaveable?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
