What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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