I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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