the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
