This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
