Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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