I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
