I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
