I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
