He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
