for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
40s are totally the cure
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
