I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he fucked my hip out of place.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
