My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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