Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i think my cat just said my name.
My life is pants optional.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
