Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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