btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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