So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
