didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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