That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you are never too drunk for berry picking
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Such a big mess for such a small penis
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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