Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
