I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
