I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
