i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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