Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
