haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize