We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
