I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
