were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
