I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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