wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
