pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
