I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
