I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't deserve a penis
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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