I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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