Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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