he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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