I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
