sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
