He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
