redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He? As in you personified your dick?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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