You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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