brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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