omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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