I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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