u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
