Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
