Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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