my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
