Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
