I am puke
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I FOUND THE LEGS
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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