i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
