In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I smell like Dick and happiness
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
