....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
