how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
