i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
