If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
