from now on my penis is your penis
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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