remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
