you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
