what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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