Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
